what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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