did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
