I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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