Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
