nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
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