Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
