what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
