Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
porn star boner night. come get it.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
