dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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