The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
