Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
