yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
