honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
