It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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