can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
