UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
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So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
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Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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