A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
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