my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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