Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
