watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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