we should wear snuggies to the strip club
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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