wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
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