turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
