break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
After last night, I could never be a politician.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Operation Purity has been aborted
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
