i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
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