Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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