I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
God, you're like boner-b-gone
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
