I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
