Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the liver wants what the liver wants
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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