I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
My breasts were aching with rage.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
