are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I think my fart just growled at me.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize