i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
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