I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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