I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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