Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
