At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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