i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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