It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
