I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
