i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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