The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
if only i could text you this smell
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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