I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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