after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
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