just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
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