I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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