Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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