so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg đđ
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
He sang the chorus to âInside of youâ by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldnât even be mad, that probably took talent
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