You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
