ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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