im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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