I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
