You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
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