Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Randomize
