Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Randomize