In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Randomize
