You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
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