so that wasnt chicken after all
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Randomize
