Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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