so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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