Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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