Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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